tag : bright yellow-green apples: deserved the best

"I see little point in persisting in a discussion with one so obstinate as you" Martin White

Monday, November 15, 2004

deserved the best

It’s the old rhetorical question today; how do we manage to harm that which we most love and care about? It's a hard lesson, answers on a postcard please.

(a)Truth and victim
(b)Deserved better than this
(c)Must not hijack our self obsession
(d)Anyone else’s business now
(e)Obvious things missed

4 Comments:

Blogger ash said...

i was thinking of this very same question the other day, and i came to the conclusion that the thing is a tautology of sorts. we hurt the ones we love precisely because we love them.

there is the direct way in which we may tell someone a truth they may not want to know but do ultimatley know they need to know.

but there is also a more accidental way i think. those whom we love are by far the closest people to us. they are the ones we share more with than our "mates". there aren't many people whom we really love (and of course i'm not talking eros here). they get to see the best of us but also the worst of us. when we're ill, or grumpy, or drunk or sleep deprived or something, over time, they've seen it all.

and because we are so close, when we do stuff that offends it is all the more poignant, all the more cutting. a random person in the street can yell insults and it really genuinely would not bother me (unless the person grew violent). but when the people you love do something like that it hurts a heck of a lot more... because you care about what they think of you.

and that is, i think, why we invariably hurt people we love so much... because we love them. and that level of closeness exposes parts of us and parts of them which we maybe don't like so much... but we do get through it and things become stronger in the end.

3:24 PM  
Blogger postliberal said...

That's a highly astute take on it, I couldn't say anything more.

4:20 PM  
Blogger ash said...

so... did i solve one of life's big questions, or did i make up some stuff that sounded good enough? :oP

8:47 PM  
Blogger postliberal said...

hehe it sounds very plausible and well thought through - but most of all I concur, and that's what counts ;)

12:16 AM  

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